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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?